Play Time
Playing with your children sounds like a great idea, right?
Playing with children isn’t always as easy as it seems for the simple reason that we adults are…well, adults! Somewhere along the way, our sense of play matured into grown-up interests, and we no longer live in the imaginary land of suspended time and reality that children prefer to play in.
It is important to remember a few things about play in order to be a good adult play partner:
Play involves a free choice activity that is non-literal, self-motivated, enjoyable and process-oriented. The rules of play are based on the child’s sense of reality.
Children do not play for a reward, praise, money or food. They play because they like it.
Children who compete to make the best wooden ship are not playing. Children who are told that they must use the block with an “A” on it to create a word are not playing, and children who are asked to label the color of their paints instead of using them to create a picture are not playing.
Lots of play at an early age enables children to develop the wide, integrated foundation required for future academic success. It also will develop in our children a love of learning, a love that is desperately needed by children who can look forward to a minimum of 13 years of formal education.
(Wardle, 1987, 1996) From – Early Childhood Education News. March/ April 1999 Issue
To be successful at playing with your child, you’ll need to suspend your sense of time and reality, let go of your rules and embrace your child’s rules, avoid controlling the play and giving instructions, and devote a chunk of your time to playing imaginative, unstructured, child-driven games! Try out these tips:
Commit to at least 20 minutes to the game, especially if it’s a “pretend” game. Tell your child of your time limitations before starting to avoid tears and disappointments when you withdraw.
Ask the “rules” of the game before you start and then follow them.
Play like a child, not like a grown up.
Share, cooperate, listen and contribute, just as you would expect from another child.
Don’t be bossy – you are playing, not parenting!
If you end up in conflict, work it out within the boundaries of the play and not as a parent. Avoid saying: “I won’t continue playing if you act like this.” Your goal is to foster cooperation and problem solving, not apply discipline.
Play at least once a day! Play is the work of children, and when you take the opportunity to play with your children, you get to observe their progress and development first hand.
Playing with your children results in them liking you more (yes, they LOVE you; but do they LIKE you?). And children who like the adults in their lives, also tend to be more cooperative and respectful towards adults.
