Moments of Choice

Mike is an excellent executive director and an innovator in his field. He’s an effective leader. He nurtures a culture of collaboration among his team and supports their ability as individuals and as a group to provide excellent client service. But Mike has a problem; the owner doesn’t understand the changing environment and actively resists change. Mike easily connects with the people around him, but his conversations with the owner about the changing landscape fall on deaf ears. Over the weeks and months, Mike’s frustration grows, until he realizes he’s come to a moment of choice. Hoping for a different outcome, he puts off his decision for too long.

Mike’s story is your story, and it’s my story. How often do you and I sacrifice happiness hoping for a different outcome? “If only.” “I’ll give it another month.” “I understand where he or she is coming from.” “It’s not a good time to _____.” Our inner dialogue persuades us to wait. Soon, weeks or months turn into years, and we feel our dream slipping away.

One single move changes all of this. It’s making a decision. Deciding is not wishing or hoping. A real decision occurs when you commit to what you want. The word “decide” originates from the Latin, “decidere,” meaning to cut away. Decision is a mental shift you make that indicates other alternatives are not an option.

Perhaps you’ve been part of a conversation like this:

“Where would you like to go for dinner?”

“I don’t know. Where would you like to go?”

“We could have Thai food.”

“Oh, I just ate Thai. How about something else?”

“Well, what would you like?”

And round and round it goes. In this case, indecision delays dinner.

In life, indecision delays more than dinner. It erodes trust in our self. The majority of people cannot answer the question, “What do you want?” Clarity is often sacrificed by a false belief that “If I don’t declare it, I won’t feel bad if it doesn’t happen.” The short-term effect of indecision is to avoid pain, but it fosters numbness as we push things into the future. We forget that indecision is a decision. Its name is Procrastination. Indecision slowly erodes self-esteem.

Even the best of the best occasionally become nervous and uncertain and delay decisions. Five common reasons are:

• Decisions tend to create more work

• Fear of what others will think

• Fear of the unknown

• Fear of making a mistake

• Feelings of inadequacy: too young, too old, not enough support or education, etc.

Mike has a track record of success, positive feedback from the people who report to him and support from his wife. Nevertheless, in the face of feeling ineffective, frustrated and trapped, his self-esteem suffered.

When Mike came to me, I helped him clarify his vision and connect with his “why.” He explored his options, and I offered new perspectives. Very quickly, Mike saw his path forward and confidently made his decision. Within weeks, a new door opened. Today, Mike’s enjoys the freedom to implement ideas that benefit his new clients and employees.

Perhaps you’re at a threshold, and it’s time to make a decision. Where in your life or business right now do you need to make a decision? See clearly. Decide confidently. Live joyfully.

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