A Final Gift

“We’re not meant to be alone. We need to be with others.”

–Shirley Leer on volunteering for Hospice of North Idaho

Shirley Leer, dedicated volunteer of the nonprofit organization Hospice of North Idaho, has an incredible gift to be with people. Come by the Hospice House on Tuesday afternoon, and you might have trouble finding her, as she’s probably sitting with a patient, lending an ear to a visitor, or tucked away in the laundry room folding linens.

Leer doesn’t just do a weekly shift at Hospice House though; she also sings with the Hospice of North Idaho choir and helps out with events such as the Memorial Service and Tree Lighting. These events are ways for people to remember those who are no longer with us, and while special and important, they can also be difficult for those who are grieving. “I like to be there to talk to people if they need an ear or a shoulder,” she said. That’s one of the things she really enjoys about volunteering at the Hospice House, too; being there to talk to people, because she knows firsthand what they’re going through. After all, it was only five years ago that she lost her husband of 17 years, Dave Leer, which is when she became intimately familiar with Hospice of North Idaho.

Shirley and Dave were planning to retire within a year of one another. Dave retired first at age 55, and only nine months later was diagnosed with a fast growing brain tumor, a glioblastoma. Shirley, who had planned on working a few more months, decided to retire the day he received that news, and from then on dedicated her life to caring for her husband. Dave ended up exceeding his four-to-six month prognosis by a full year, but by the following summer Shirley recognized that she needed help. Exhausted, she called Hospice of North Idaho at the recommendation of Dave’s physician and a family friend.

The call to Hospice of North Idaho proved to be what the Leers needed. Hospice of North Idaho gave Shirley the support she was looking for. It freed her up to care for Dave in the way she wanted and needed to. For example, “I didn’t like to leave him, so I was grateful that they brought his meds to us,” she said. Hospice of North Idaho helped Shirley in many ways, like talking to her about what was going on with her husband. “It was nice to talk to people who knew what was happening, especially medically speaking.” The hospice nurses were able to explain Dave’s illness and decline, and what he had to go through to die. “They helped me remember what was really important, because when you’re in it, you can lose focus,” she said. To Shirley, Hospice of North Idaho was there for her as much as they were there for Dave. She felt like she had people holding her up, and that these people were there to help with whatever she needed.

Dave passed away on September 17, 2010. Two years later and still grieving her husband’s death, Shirley came to volunteer for Hospice of North Idaho. She always knew that she would volunteer in her retirement, but until Dave’s illness she hadn’t known quite what that would look like. “The way they cared for Dave, I could tell it was a beautiful organization, and I wanted to be part of it. I came here and fell in love with everyone. The nurses are angels,” she said. She feels that volunteering has been part of her healing and grieving process, a process that “looks different for everyone,” she noted.

Shirley insists that volunteering at the Hospice House is not sad. “It’s a beautiful place and yes, people are dying and there is sadness, but it’s really a place of peace and joy,” she said. She explained that the staff and volunteers will get people whatever they need, and there’s always someone to talk to. She constantly invites people to come see Hospice House and how it operates, because she wants everyone to know how special it is. “You can just feel it when you walk in. It feels wonderful here,” she said.

Her role as a volunteer at the Hospice House goes beyond answering phones. She sees herself as support and encouragement for a staff that works long hours, a listening ear for the patients and loved ones, and a set of hands to keep the place running smoothly.

“I’m here for the people. I can sit and talk, hold their hand, feed them. I can make mashed potatoes, and I fold laundry. I am here to do whatever is needed of me.”

It’s clear that whatever activity Shirley is doing, it’s coming from her heart. She has found a way to take what was a difficult experience for her and share what she learned with others. “As much as I hated Dave passing, I can now relate to others who are there too,” said Shirley. “I can be the flesh that people need. That’s what we all need – to have people there to walk you through it”.

Hospice of North Idaho has been the community’s nonprofit hospice since 1981, serving the seriously ill and those touched by loss. For more information on hospice, end of life planning, grief and loss, or volunteering, please visit www.hospiceofnorthidaho.org, or call 208.772.7994.

Hospice of North Idaho serves Kootenai, Benewah, and Shoshone Counties, and owns and operates the inpatient facility, Hospice House, located at 2290 Prairie Ave. in Coeur d’Alene.

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