Our Denmark Chapter

I’m a homebody. I like routine and vanilla ice cream. So when my husband’s company offered him a position to work in Denmark for a year, I was hesitant. My need for certainty, however, gave way to an uncharacteristic wonder to see what a year in Denmark, and Europe, could offer my family. For our family’s benefit, my husband and I decided to make the move. In August 2014, we made a spectacle of ourselves as we left our home in Rathdrum, Idaho, bound for Copenhagen, Denmark with five children and 28 pieces of luggage.

It wasn’t easy living abroad. Unlike a long vacation, it was everyday life—but in a foreign country. We went to school and work, paid bills, shopped for groceries, dealt with home repairs, and lived the ups and downs every family experiences. We also had unique challenges made more difficult by our being in a foreign country—identity theft, illness, the death of a loved one, homesickness and sending our oldest to college. With the language barrier and our foreign surroundings, these were difficult times. But that foreign aspect is also what made our experiences that year enlightening. Being surrounded by language, food and culture different from our own taught us a great deal. Perhaps it was a combination of our struggles and our increased appreciation for people and places that allowed Denmark to change us. It became a chapter of life we will always savor.

The first time I went to our neighborhood grocery store in Denmark, I nearly cried. I walked through a very small produce and meat and cheese section, saw a few shelves of bread and pasta, and some miscellaneous items I couldn’t make sense of because of the Danish labelling. That was it. I thought, “What am I going to feed my family for the next year?” Those initial weeks were tough on my kids, but we also had a few laughs as we learned to bake in a Centigrade oven, use a translation app to buy ingredients and live without the pre-made mixes, condensed soups and favorite snacks readily available in the States.

Another big part of our adjustment was learning the unwritten rules of bike lanes and navigating bus and train routes. Of course, this kind of Danish street smarts didn’t come without lots of mistakes. We hopped on the wrong train more than once, missed buses and nearly got hit by bikers, but we figured it out. The day I noticed my 7-year-old son look over his shoulder before stepping into the bike lane, I thought “Wow. We’ve come a long way.”

Living in Copenhagen, in fact, is pretty doable. The Danes speak very good English, and each person we met seemed interested in us and happy we were living in their country. Several of our neighbors and co-workers invited our family to their homes to share traditional Danish meals and customs. These were some of our favorite times! Getting to know Danish culture through their hospitality, focus on meaningful conversation and appreciation for other people taught us much.

Going to school in Denmark was a great opportunity for our kids. Our daughter attended a Danish high school, “Gymnasium,” which taught the International Baccalaureate curriculum in English. Hers was a very rigorous academic experience. She worked hard and benefitted from the global perspective she gained in many subjects. Studying the American Revolution from a British textbook and discussing current world events in classrooms where vast cultural diversity was represented proved to be a fantastic education for her.

Our boys attended an international school which exposed them to people from all over the world. Their classmates and teachers were from Nepal, Lithuania, Russia, Zimbabwe, Ukraine, Scotland and many other countries. Most of the students were fluent in several languages and many wore traditional clothing from their homelands. Playing games on the playground and even seeing what peers brought for lunch was educational. Yet it was so natural for these children to play together! They gave no thought to political, economic or religious differences. They simply enjoyed each other.

Fieldtrips were a favorite part of school for our kids. Fieldtrips are considered an important part of education in Denmark. So when our son studied about the late King of Denmark, Christian IV, he and his class rode a train into Copenhagen to visit a historical museum and castle where the king once lived. When our daughter’s history class studied World War II, they went on a three-day field trip to Berlin, Germany. Our children also attended field trips across Denmark and to London and Sweden.

Learning Danish was a slow, difficult process. My husband and I ultimately learned a few important phrases, how to pay bills in Danish, how to read train routes and food labels, but that was about it. Our kids did better. They learned Danish in school and also practiced with friends at church and on sports teams. Our Danish friends appreciated every effort we made, though. One Sunday in a church class my son asked, in Danish, to sing a certain song. The teacher was delighted and exclaimed to me, “He said it in Danish!”

One of my favorite aspects of living in Denmark was being able to take our children to see a little of the world. Travel is significantly less expensive and, in fact, a way of life in Denmark. The Danish work week is a true 37 hours and five weeks of paid vacation is standard. With this, it has developed a culture where travel is a priority. We readily welcomed this piece of Danish culture into our own and traveled as much as possible.

In addition to the family field trips we made to see historic castles, museums, jousting matches and natural wonders within Denmark, we also visited several nearby countries. We made a two-week road trip through Germany, France, Belgium and The Netherlands. All seven of us and our luggage squished into a tiny European-sized car and took in as many sites and as much culture and traditional foods as we could. We also spent weekends exploring Sweden, Norway and London. We topped it all off with a ski trip to Austria and a week of summer vacationing in Tuscany, Italy. It was so rewarding to explore these cultures and places with our children! I loved seeing them grow in their appreciation for things that are different. I enjoyed watching them develop travel smarts—getting in and out of airports, navigating train routes and buying food in new cities where we didn’t speak the language. I loved seeing them grow accustomed to hearing other languages other than English and being with people outside of our own culture. Interacting with locals in these places made for some charming memories—like the chocolatier in Belgium who had us all laughing as he guided us through what he claimed would be our first taste of real chocolate. Our children’s education in global awareness and acceptance was beyond what we could have hoped for.

Through these experiences, we also learned much about each other. Travel is a lot of work and takes a certain amount of tolerance when in a large group—particularly one like ours that spanned ages from 40 to 7 years old. There is so much waiting, walking, confusion, decision-making and sometimes disappointment involved in travel. It is certainly not always a vacation. I have been tired enough to sleep on a stone step, sit down on a crowded escalator, and pay $5 for a small bottle of water. Yet, travel for us was a process of learning to appreciate not only new cultures, but one another as well. We took time to play tag with my 7–year-old at a playground below the steps to the Sacre Coeur in Paris, and he patiently waited for Dad to read every plaque at the Resistance Museum in Amsterdam. By the end of our year exploring Europe, we were changed travelers.

Amidst our travels, of course, were moments of true vacationing. Getting away from the crowds to admire the work of street artists while savoring every last bite of a fresh Parisian crepe, chasing waves on the Italian Riviera, drinking hot chocolate atop the Kitzbühel ski resort while taking in the stunning view of the surrounding Austrian Alps are just a few examples of the breath-taking moments of real vacationing we will always savor. In these moments, we had to consciously pause to absorb it all—the people, the language, the architecture, the food and the nature. In both grand and simple ways, these moments presented themselves. What a remarkable opportunity to not only teach, but show our children that the world and its people are amazing!

Danes are considered to be some of the happiest people in the world. It’s hard to articulate exactly why this is. But when you’re with them, you feel it. Danes have a real contentedness about them. For example, a great day for a Dane is to leave work on time, bicycle home, and spend a cozy evening eating and talking with family. Danes call this “hygge” (pronounced hewgga). Hygge is a word that doesn’t truly translate into English. It means cozy, intimate, meaningful time spent together with family and friends. Danes seek out and create hygge. They strive for it during the dark winter months by lighting candles, chatting in front of the fireplace, or strolling with friends through a Christmas market. In the summer, hygge involves picnicking and enjoying each other at parks and beaches. Nothing more is required for Danes to truly enjoy themselves. No entertainment or schedule is needed. Hygge is neither expensive nor elaborate. It’s this appreciation for each other and simple moments shared that gives Danes happiness. I love this about them.

The hardest part of our time in Denmark was saying goodbye. Despite the challenges and homesickness, we were all sad to leave. I was glad we were sad, though. It meant we had opened our hearts to Denmark and made it a second home. What made it hard to leave was the people. We learned a lot from them. We learned the value of balance in life. We were inspired by how they are driven−not by being entertained or competitive−but by contentedness. The Danes taught us this, and it has changed us.

We’re happy to have returned home to North Idaho, though. Living abroad taught us to see the good in our own country and culture with greater appreciation. When we returned, my youngest realized he had forgotten the Pledge of Allegiance. I was so pleased to witness his determination to relearn it. It was important to him that he know this statement of allegiance to his country. How thrilled I was to see that his exposure to other countries and people had not come at the expense of gratitude for his own! In fact, this exposure had strengthened his appreciation. We'll forever be grateful for this Danish chapter of our lives. Life is full of experiences you live for only a short while but remember for a lifetime. This is Denmark for us.

#adventure